5 Things I Learned about Friendship from the Classics

Ah, friendship. Few relationships in life are as simple, rewarding, and satisfying as a close friendship. Unless, of course, a friendship has currents of underlying sexual tension, drama, or secrets to up the emotional ante. And what good friendship doesn’t?!

 

I keep my friends close, and my enemies closer, on the advice of Machiavelli. Now that frenemy, unfriend, defriend, and friend zone are all common English language references, can we say that friendship actually changed over the centuries, and is fundamentally different now than in other eras? 

 

To answer this, as with all deep questions, we turn to classic literature. What can the masters teach us about the age-old search for kindred spirits and collaboration?

 

      

Hamlet and Horatio

 

Part of me questions whether Hamlet is really capable of true friendship. His friend Horatio sometimes seems written in by Shakespeare just to give Hamlet someone – other than himself and dead guys – to talk to.

That said, the mutual admiration that the two friends feel for one another really comes through in their dialogue. Hamlet sees in Horatio all the patience and logic that he himself lacks. Meanwhile, as Hamlet dies, Horatio mourns him so deeply that he considers throwing himself on his sword to join Hamlet in death. Then… Horatio changes his mind, so Hamlet is essentially abandoned in his final moments. Poor Hamlet.

Lesson: You can be friends without making the ultimate sacrifice. Finding your boundaries is essential in friendship. 

Damon and Pythias

Damon and Pythias are probably the best friends in all history. Pythias was accused of plotting against a tyrant, and sentenced to death. He pleaded to be able to go home and say farewell to his family and put his affairs in order. The tyrant balked until Damon stepped forward and offered to take Pythias’s place if he did not return by a given date. Damon literally put his head on the chopping block for his friend, and trusted in his friend so much that he was willing to risk his life. 

When Pythias’s ship was attacked by pirates and he did not return, Damon was still willing to die for his friend. Pythias swooped in at the last moment, explained what happened, and their true friendship impressed everyone so much that their lives were spared. 

Lesson: Being a loyal, selfless friend will come back to you in spades. 

 

Quincey and Lucy 

Quincey, a rough and tumble Texas adventurer—wants to marry Lucy, along with everyone else in Bram Stoker’s Dracula. Lucy, however, is changeable and falls out of love with Quincey. When she tells him her affections have wandered and ultimately “friend zones” him, Quincey answers:

“Little girl, your honesty and pluck have made me a friend, and that’s rarer than a lover, it’s more selfish anyhow. My dear, I’m going to have a pretty lonely walk between this and Kingdom Come. Won’t you give me one kiss?”

Lesson: Friendship, in the turmoil of love affairs, becomes a sacred island. Also, if you can convince your friend to give you a kiss, you’re one smooth-talking Texan. 

Jane Eyre and Helen Burns

Is this the most tragic friendship of all time? Jane Eyre, orphaned at age 10 goes to live with her “loving” aunt and cousins. Spoiler: they’re not loving. Then, she goes to Lowood School, where she befriends a sweet little gal named Helen. Jane searched long and hard for a kindred spirit, and when she finds Helen, Reader, we feel such relief that maybe she’s not all alone in the world. Maybe there’s hope?

Damn you, typhus. The search continues.

Lesson: Don’t give up on finding friendship. Sometimes things don’t work out, but if you just keep looking for connection you will—eventually—find it.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson 

 

Victorian formality may have prevented Holmes and Watson from long, flowery passages expressing their deep bond of friendship, but make no mistake: total bromance. Once in a while, Sherlock will mutter something about Watson’s having been “invaluable” to the case, and Watson occasionally will bro out with a comment about Sherlock’s “swift intuition” and “rapid deductions.”

 

Lesson: You don’t have to go overboard with singing the praises of someone you consider a true friend. You can simply be sincere and just enjoy one another’s company.

Five things we’ve learned about LOVE from the classics

Love is the most elemental emotion. It is the bedrock of a good story and human existence, and has been a consistent muse to writers throughout history. 

From Dante we’ve learned that physical love—shall we say lust—will land you the dark land of damnation. Dante reserved the second circle of hell for “carnal sinners who subordinate reason to desire.”

Keats, on the other hand, rejoiced in lust and love. Keats warms the heart and tickles reader’s imagination temptingly with lines like, “You are always new, the last of your kisses was ever the sweetest.” Oh, Keats. To be tuberculosis-free and walk a flowery spring meadow with you in the early 1800’s would be the definition of bliss itself.

From Jane Austen, we’ve learned that love serves both a social and cultural function. That it is the transference of property as much as the transference of kisses and embraces that motivate young lovers to steal away together in dark corners. 

Reading the classics helps offer clarity to the chaos of love—it helps us put in words the complex and nuanced desires and emotions that swirl together under this one title.

Here are some quotes about love that have fueled our love affairs, secret crushes, and jaded breakups over the years…

(These are from the Knickerbocker Classics collection)

        

  

Love is a smoke rais’d with the fume of sighs;

Being purg’d, a fire sparkling in lovers’ eyes;

Being vex’d, a sea nourish’d with loving tears.

What is it else? A madness most discreet,

A choking gall, and a preserving sweet…

I have lost myself; I am not here:

This is not Romeo, he’s some other where.

— Romeo, from Romeo & Juliet by William Shakespeare

“If I cannot inspire love, I will cause fear!” — Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein

“I had not intended to love him; the reader knows I had wrought hard to extirpate from my soul the germs of love there detected; and now, at the first renewed view of him, they spontaneously revived, great and strong! He made me love him without looking at me.” ― Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre

“When one is in love, one always begins by deceiving one’s self, and one always ends by deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance.” ― Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

And lastly, for love lost, we will always have Oscar Wilde to make us smirk and cough out a dry, wry chuckle. 

“There is always something ridiculous about the emotions of people whom one has ceased to love.” ― Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

So. With that, here’s a toast to love on this Friday evening, all you ridiculous fools, bleeding hearts, and beautiful babies. 

@qgeekbooks

Six hilarious April Fool’s jokes only book nerds will understand

Happy April Fool’s Day to all you readers out there. 

Make loud thumping noises in Jane Eyre’s new attic. Ha ha ha, a new mad woman, or mad ghost. Jane Eyre would find it quite hilarious indeed.

Mess with Hansel and Gretel’s breadcrumb trail. They’ll think they’re lost in the woods. Hopefully they’ll find a kind old woman with a very tasty house to help them.

Pass Mr. Darcy a hot and steamy love letter forged with Elizabeth Bennet’s signature. You’d be doing them a favor, really—they could skip all the misunderstandings and get straight to the point.

Invite Frankenstein’s monster out to a beach bonfire or to a candlelight dinner. “Good one,” you’ll think, “that dude hates fire.” While this April Fool’s prank will get you some high-fives from the village folk, it might also prove ever so slightly dangerous, so take precautions. 

Leave fake clues for Sherlock Holmes while he’s in the midst of an investigation—or if you can’t trick him, just spike his opium with an upper. That’ll teach him to be so smug. 

Buy a litter of adorable black kitties and leave them as a surprise for the unnamed narrator of Edgar Allan Poe’s story “The Black Cat.” MeowHa! 

@qgeekbooks xoxo, happy April Fool’s Day!